Welcome back to Caesar's Palace, home of the 32nd Clash of the Champions live on TBS. Tonight we'll be featuring a huge main event of Hulk Hogan and World Heavyweight Champion Macho Man Randy Savage vs Ric Flair and the Giant, plus undercard matches Public Enemy vs Nasty Boys, Konnan vs Psicosis for the "Mexican heavyweight championship," a Tag Team Title bout between champs Sting & Luger and the Bluebloods, the return of Miss Elizabeth, the reunion of the Road Warriors, and the much-anticipated marriage of Sister Sherri and Colonel Robert Parker. Plus, more unannounced! Its a full two hours tonight, I hope you're ready for a long one.
We immediately jump outside to Mean Gene who is at A little white chapel on the Vegas Strip. Gene lets us know that A little white chapel, the world's first drive-thru wedding chapel, was home to the marriages of Joan Collins and Michael Jordan, "though not necessarily to each other." Gene describes the wedding thus far as a "funeral party in reverse." Neither the Colonel nor Sherri has been seen tonight.
Back in Caesar's Palace, we have the Nasty Boys, Saggs and Knobbs, against Public Enemy, Rocco Rock and Johnny Grunge. Expect a real brawl from these two teams. Saggs looks like a fat Nigel McGuinness. The fight opens with a brawl, leaving Brian Knobbs and Johnny Grunge the legal men. The Nastys take the momentum in the early match. Outside the ring, Rocco Rock is faring a little better. He tries going Old School on the ringside barricade but Saggs kicks his legs out and sacs him on the steel. After this, Saggs leaves the ringside area and swiftly returns with a table which he leans up against a turnbuckle. After some failed attempts to throw Rocco into the table, Rocco counters with a bulldog, runs up to the top rope and hits a perfect moonsault on Knobbs for a 2 count. Knobbs gets up and just nails Rock on the apron. Meanwhile, Saggs piledrives Grunge and begins to set the table up. The referee then calls for the bell. After no illegal action has taken place, referee Nick Patrick disqualifies both teams and throws the match out. The fight continues on, unsanctioned, with Public Enemy using the distraction of the bell to their advantage. They set Knobbs up and put him through the table with a moonsault, except the table doesnt really break it just sort of topples over and then splinters. Grunge picks up a big splinter and goes to hit Knobbs with it, but Saggs counters. Saggs chases Grunge out of the ring, down the aisle, and through the curtain, ending this segment.
Down on the ramp, Eric Bischoff is interviewing Ric Flair and the Giant. Flair tells Bischoff that he doesn't care about losing the title last night, because tonight he's going to literally murder Randy Savage. The Giant chimes in with a threat to murder Hogan, with or without the Megapowers' secret weapons.
Last Saturday on Main Event, Dean Malenko faced off against Alex Wright. He won with the Texas Cloverleaf but refused to let go when Wright tapped, forcing two referees to pull him off. Tonight, Alex Wright wants his payback. The match starts off with some catch-counter mat work. The two exchange identical spots really cleanly and there are a lot of good takedowns and takeovers. Eventually, the Iceman gets the advantage and starts really working over Wright's leg, the one that he injured on Saturday with the Cloverleaf. Wright manages to squeeze off a series of European uppercuts, shove Malenko into the corner, and nail a humongous superplex from the top rope. He follows it up with a bridging german suplex for a 2 count only. Malenko powers out, hits a flash pin, and wins the fall. The count here was really badly screwed up. The match felt nowhere near over when Nick Patrick counted to 2 and then called for the bell. That's two weird finishes already, one of which intentionally so.
After calling out the Dancin' Fool Disco Inferno, the Taskmaster Kevin Sullivan heads down to the ring accompanied by the Southern Gentleman Jimmy Hart. Disco, however, no-shows. In his place, an Elvis impersonator makes his way down the ramp! He sings a little song to Sullivan, tells him that Disco went to the wedding instead, and gets a Sullivan Double Stomp for his trouble. "The Taskmaster hates Elvis impersonators, baby!" The crowd boos.
Back at the wedding, Gene greets the arrival of Bunkhouse Buck and Dick Slater in their jalopy. Which is some kind of large cat. Neither of them have seen the Colonel either, even though his trailer is right there.
Back inside, Bischoff is now interviewing Sting and Luger, your tag team champions. Luger vehemently denies that he cheated last night as the newly reunited Road Warriors, Hawk and Animal, interrupt. They hug and high-five Sting. They demand a match, which Sting agrees to but Luger refuses. Luger says there's the matter of the Bluebloods match tonight and the rematch with the Harlem Heat, the Road Warriors will have to just wait. He then storms off to the back.
The next segment is a real good video interview with Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff. Orndorff is sitting on his lanai, wearing a neck brace. He details the extent of his injury at the hands of the Horsemen. He can't feel half of his body and his career is officially over. They play a flashback to Gary Spivey helping him be Wonderful. Wonderful is absolutely pissed that Horsemen, and especially Pillman, took everything away from him. He has no respect for Brian or any of the Horsemen. He says that they once gave him the opportunity to be a Horseman but, since he did not want to part of a gang, he declined and thats why they targetted him. The Horsemen may have intentionally crippled him, but they can never take away his pride. Back in Caesar's Palace, we discover Gary Spivey in the crowd tonight, representing the memory of Paul Orndorff.
Back at A little white chapel, the Colonel finally shows. He isn't there to start the wedding though, he's there to try to scam $50 out of Mean Gene! Parker gambled away his entire fortune at the craps table! Suddenly, his phone rings. His "little fried pie" is on her way but seems mad. There may be trouble in paradise! Gene is pissed.
Inside, Flyin Brian Pillman makes his way down to the ring. He is carrying the cane again and threatening fans. He tears up the barricades as he walks past, screaming and waving the Horsemen hand sign. His opponent for tonight, fan favorite Eddie Guerrero, heads down to the ring and the bell sounds. Pillman immediately rolls out of the ring to attack fans, absolutely screaming at them and trying to jump the barricades. Eventually he gets back in the ring where he starts playing mind games with Eddie, throwing the four fingers in Guerrero's face. Guerrero has enough and decks Brian, sending him out of the ring. Brian runs around, punking fans and slapping Tony Schiavone. He rolls back into the ring and Eddie is on him immediately. Pillman gets dumped out again and winds up next to the announce table. Eddie goes up to the top rope for a crossbody, but Pillman grabs Bobby Heenan as a human shield. Heenan, with his history of neck surgeries, yells at Pillman, "What the fuck are you doing?!" Brain grabs his things and leaves ringside, leaving Schiavone alone to call this match. Brian rolls back into the ring where Eddie starts to lecture him. Brain comes back to the table and Brian apparently apologizes. The match resumes with Brian reaching for a handshake with Eddie. Guerrero uses this as an opportunity to cheap shot Pillman and starts dominating again. Brian is forced to beg off, Ric Flair-style. He turns that into a series of legal and not-so-legal chokes on Eddie, who counters a running backdrop into a dropkick in spectacular fashion. Eddie then comes up with a two count after a tornado DDT. A quick exchange of pins and pinning combinations and Pillman picks up the win with a crossbody, a roll up, and a handful of tights.
On the ramp, Bischoff is interviewing Savage, Hogan, and Pittsburg Steeler Kevin Greene. The three come out to Hogan's music, even though Savage is the champ. Hogan tells Bischoff that the momentum is in their favor. He adds wart-infested to "nasty" and "stinky" as descriptors for the Giant. He lets all the Hulkamaniacs know that Kevin Greene has their back if the Dungeon gets involved. Elizabeth will be at ringside and she will make the difference and win them the match! Kevin Greene says he wants to take Liz home, but Savage says he'd have an easier time sleeping with the Dallas Cowboys. Not the cheerleaders. Savage suggests Kevin Greene have sex with the entire NFL Football Team.
Next up is the Bluebloods vs Sting & Luger. Sting has very cool facepaint tonight, very clearly Road Warriors inspired, using parts of Animal's design and including some elements that seem very proto-Crow Sting. Sting starts the match with Regal and quickly dominates. Luger and Eaton tag in. Eaton and Luger sort of look at each other until Luger literally makes Eaton crap himself and tag in Regal. Luger threateningly pops his pecs at the Englishman. Regal takes control of the match, builds to the hot tag, and locks Luger in the Regal Stretch. Sting breaks it up with a back rake. The hot tag is quickly made, some miscommunication on the end of the Bluebloods leads to the Earl of Eaton being set up for the Scorpion Death Lock. Eaton taps, the match ends, the champs retain.
The Harlem Heat are real mad about the quality of the chicken wings at the wedding as Sister Sherri finally arrives. She is very disoriented. Parker tells her he's gone broke, she doesn't seem to understand at first but then suddenly becomes pissed. She tries to storm off into Parker's trailer to change into her wedding dress, but Bunkhouse Buck is guarding the door, telling here there's a rabid dog in there. Gene is still pretty mad himself.
There's a quick promo for the WCW Live Chat featuring Jimmy Hart gleefully pretending to type on an IBM clone before a Brian Pillman interview with Bischoff on the ramp. Pillman tells Bischoff that he should be scared of him. He tells Bischoff he's going to swear just like Bobby Heenan did. Pillman says that Arn Anderson doesn't respect him. Kevin Sullivan doesn't respect him. He will force everyone to respect him, no matter what the cost.
Tony and Brain are joined by Mike Tenay for our next international bout. Psicosis in his red-and-white gear and Konnan in his early 90s AAA gear head down for their match. If I remember correctly, Konnan was the AAA champion at this time and was to defend his title but AAA and WCW couldn't hash out the licensing details in time so Konnan is technically making his one and only defense of the WCW Mexican Heavyweight Title. The match starts with some cool lucha spots, with Konnan working Rudo and Psicosis working Tecnico. In this glorified squash, Konnan is always one step ahead of Psicosis who's only saving grace is ring awareness. After an enormous German Superplex, Konnan puts Psicosis in the ZipLock, retaining his belt. Tenay promises more Konnan in the weeks to come.
Finally, it is time for the moment we have all been waiting for, the wedding of Sister Sherri and Colonel Robert Parker. As Sherri changes into her wedding dress, the Colonel is now trying to scam money from her to go gamble with while Gene offers to give her away. Moments later, fully dressed and looking like a lady Dracula, Sherri walks down the aisle with Gene and reveals that she hasn't called the Colonel at all today. If she wasn't the sweetheart on the Colonel's phone, then who was? Disco is their flower girl, I think. Bunkhouse Buck is sobbing. The wedding officiator, "dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for the joining in matrimony of Sister Sherri Martel and Colonel Andy-- Robert-- Andy Parker-- Robert-- Colonel Andy Parker." As the couple are about to say their "I do"s, Madusa escapes from the trailer and jumps Sister Sherri, revealing herself as the sweetheart on the cell phone! Disco steals like 4 whole bottles of champagne as the wedding dissolves.
It is time for your main event of the evening. Jimmy Hart accompanies the team of The Giant and The Nature Boy Ric Flair to the ring. Kevin Green, Liz, and Woman accompany Hulk Hogan and World Champ Macho Man Randy Savage. Michael Buffer's intro is over 5 minutes long. Savage and Flair lock up right away, with Savage taking the advantage in the early goings. Savage reverses a chop into a backslide, Flair escapes and tags in the Giant. Hogan comes in but the Giant easily overpowers him. Hogan gets bodyslammed by the big, nasty, stinky one and Savage goes crazy, begging for the tag. The Giant gets greedy and goes for a big elbow drop and catches nothing but mat. This lets Hogan call for the bodyslam and put the big man down. He tags out to Flair and Hogan retains control. Flair gets in some chops and Hogan starts to hulk up. He tags Macho. Macho goes high risk, drops the elbow, gets the pin. Jimmy Hart hops on the apron distracting the ref and interrupting the pin before the fall! Flair uses this distraction to nail Savage with some foreign object. He goes for the pin, the ref returns, 1, 2, 3, Ric Flair wins. The Zodiac and Brian Pillman rush the ring but Hogan and Kevin Greene make the save. They dump Zodiac and Brian out the ring and celebrate as Liz raises Savage's hand.
As we go off the air, we hear Brain say "Wait, something's going on in the back."
Official Brother Count: Only 16 tonight, down from last night's 20. That's 8 brothers per hour or .13 brothers per minute.
Did Hogan Go Over? Sort of. He was protected via a tag match where his partner went over big time, despite the pin.
Move of the Show: A lot of great moves with two stupendous matches and one pretty great squash. I think this has to go to the super german from Konnan. It looked absolutely devastating.
American Males Memorial Buff Bagwell Sighting: Tony reminds us that Public Enemy gruesomely murdered Marcus Alexander Bagwell last week on Nitro.
The Randy Savage Award for Least Comprehensible Promo: Even though there were some great Savage lines tonight, this has to go to Flair for "Macho Man, you can't hide behind Slim Jim. Tonight, you gotta face a real, live, fire-talking Giant. Woo!"
The VK Wallstreet Award for the Boys Up North: If you called the WCW hotline tonight (1-900-909-9900) you could talk with Mike Tenay about the Billionare Ted skits on WWF TV.
The 90s Award for Relevancy: Compuserv users could type "go convention" to live electronic chat with all their favorite WCW superstars. Only on Compuserv.
The Dean Malenko Award for A Guy in a Mask: Psicosis' mask is really cool, guys. Its like glam metal Jushin "Thunder" Liger.
Broski of the Week: The little dude in a blue plaid button down buttoned all the way to the top, teeth grit, grinning and waving at the camera.
Advertised Next Week: Whatever Brain said was happening backstage when they went off the air, I hope.
Turns out I'm an idiot and I already had this Clash, and the next three! Sorry for the delay, folks!
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