The action starts out hot and heavy as soon as we tune into Nitro this week. The Giant and Stinger are arguing as the bell rings. What was supposed to be Sting and the Giant vs Harlem Heat turned into Sting vs Giant after Jimmy Hart paid the Harlem Heat to stay backstage. Sting is really taking it to the Giant as he no-sells. Sting throws a huge crossbody but bounces off and is hit with a big ol' elbow drop. Lex Luger, one half of the World Tag Team Champions with Sting, runs in and saves his partner, ending the match in a DQ for the Giant.
Also tonight, Flair versus Luger for the World Heavyweight strap, Steiners vs the Road Warriors vs Public Enemy in a triangle tag, and the Megamaniacs versus the Taskmaster and Arn Anderson.
First up is the triangle tag. Subbing in for Public Enemy tonight is the Nasty Boys as the Enemies apparently no-showed. Rick is wearing a zubaz singlet and Scott shouldn't be able to move the way he does. The Nastys and the Road Warriors are bad wrestlers and carry this entire match and also there's no consideration to what the alignments of any of these teams are.Who's face, who's heel, who knows. All six men are evenly matched and trade their time in and out of the ring, with the Road Warriors being cheered the loudest. At the finish, Grunge, dressed like Brian Knobbs, runs in, decks the real Brian Knobbs, and lets himself get pinned by Scott Steiner. It was the Enemies who took out the Nasty Boys like two months ago! This is a bad finish to a boring match!
Next is the tag team match with the Megamaniacs of Hogan and the Booty Man versus Kevin Sullivan and the Enforcer Arn Anderson. The bad guys are accompanied by Woman and Elizabeth, as usual, while the good guys are accompanied by the Booty Babe, Kimberly. During the entrances, Heenan announces his retirement from announcing and his retirement from wrestling altogether. Booty Man plays the face in peril during this match and he's bad at it. Otherwise this is a completely bog-standard Hulk Hogan match. Booty Man tries to do a sunset flip but he's bad at it. Hogan nails Sullivan with the Booty Babe's shoe for the pin in a reversal of fortunes. Booty Babe then makes out with the Booty Man in the middle of the ring. AA tries to jump the Booty Man post-makeout but is easily chased off.
In the ring, Mean Gene interviews the winners. The Booty Man does an impression of Arn Anderson ("Please Mr. Booty, don't beat us up!") and announces he has a stipulation for the next Nitro that will end Sullivan and Anderson forever!
Finally, its the World Heavyweight Championship match between Lex Luger and the Nature Boy Ric Flair. Flair is accompanied by his ladies. Luger starts the match by overpowering Flair and this continues until the finish. Even poking Luger's eyes, throwing some sick chops, nailing him with a blind elbow on the outside, and having Woman rake his eyes with her nails, and locking on the Figure Four Leglock has no effect on monster face Lex Luger. Flair is such a worker, though, he sells a knucklelock like Luger is tearing his arm clean off. Finally, with Flair in the torture rack, Woman throws hot coffee in his eyes. Flair rolls the torture rack into a pin and retains his championship. After the match, Heenan reveals his plans to leave the WCW tonight were just an April Fools! Happy April Fools, everybody!
Brother Count: Twelve brothers this week thanks to both Booty Man and the Hulkster. Thats a fifth of a brother per minute.
Did Hogan Go Over? Like a skycraper. How WCW expected people to keep buying shows when the faces constantly got the upper hand on the heels is beyond the realm of imagination, especially since the crowd was turning on Hogan/Hogan's antics.
The Pepe Award for Pepe's Costume: Crocodile Dundee.
The American Males Memorial Buff Bagwell Sighting: No sighting of Marcus this week, presumably because he was on the red carpet for his NEW FILM.
Mongo Sucks: Mongo was fairly tolerable this week, aside from not being clued in to storylines and burying Heenan's April Fools joke. However, his wife, Debra McMichael, later Debra McMichael-Austin, had ringside seats, hollering at Ric Flair.
Scott Levy Award for Inside Baseball: Mean Gene, in yet another moment of brilliance from the greatest interviewer in the sport, refers to the finish of the Megapowers/Alliance match as "a shoe-t."
Move of the Show: Lex Luger hit an absolutely killer superplex on Flair that Flair sold like death, but Scott Steiner threw a pumphandle slam like no one else.
Broski of the Week: Either Debra or the dude with a WWF foam finger and a Nitro shirt.
Next Week on Nitro: Preempted!
Next Next Week on Nitro: The stipulation Booty Man had promised!
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