The bell rings and we get things started with the American Males facing Double A Arn Anderson & Ric Flair. First things first, Larry Zybsko sucks. He's awful. Mongo is preferable to Larry. Anyway, Flair starts the match picking Riggs apart, just tearing him up until Bagwell makes the save. Marcus manages to throw Flair and Arn out of the ring to the floor. AA and Bagwell brawl into the commercial break. Riggs in when we return, but he's again getting chewed up by the Horsemen as they build to a hot tag. Meanwhile, Woman and Miss Elizabeth bring champagne over to Larry and Tony. AA is working over Riggs' leg when Bagwell tries to make the save. Ric cuts him off and ends up getting into a shoving match with the ref over it. The hot tag is then achieved and the match breaks down. Bagwell hits the bridge suplex on Flair but AA breaks it up. Woman gouges Bagwell's eyes, AA hits the DDT, Flair picks up two. All the work they did on Riggs and not a single figure four.
After the match, Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Flair and Anderson about their upcoming match with Kevin Greene and Mongo McMichael. Anderson says, "I ain't ever met a football player I couldn't walk over the top of to get to a better fight. I ain't ever seen a woman Ric Flair couldn't get just like that... We don't respect anyone who has to wear protective gear." Flair butts in by singing Afternoon Delight. "Debra," he says, "Belongs to the Nature Boy."
In the second segment of the night, we have a video package of Mongo and Kevin working out. This is completely ridiculous. "We coming hard, all day long." Good for you, Kevin Greene.
Next up is a match between Cruiserweight contender Steve Doll and Colonel Robert Parker's new client, The Mauler. The match starts with a snap suplex, Mauler just throwing Doll around the ring. The Mauler mostly looks confused as we go to the commercial. There is a commercial break in a squash. The Mauler is totally dominant until the crowd starts to get rowdy. There's a big man in a jean jacket pushing his way to the front row, over the barricade, and into the ring. He grabs a mic as the wrestlers back off. "Hey," says Razor Ramon, "You people, you know who I am, but you don't know why I'm here. Where is Billionaire Ted? Where is the Nacho Man? That punk can't even get in the building. Me? I go wherever I want, whenever I want. And where oh where is Scheme Gene? Cause I got a scoop for you. When that Ken doll lookalike, when that weatherman wannabe comes out here later tonight, I got a challenge for him, for Billionaire Ted, for the Nacho Man, and for anybody else in Dubya See Dubya, hyuk: Hey, you wanna go to war? You want a war? You're gonna get one." He throws his toothpick at the camera as we smash cut to commercial.
The third match of the night is Diamond Dallas Page vs "Pitbull" Craig Pittman. Pittman is accompanied by Teddy Long. DDP works the crowd and starts doing pushups. Pittman does way more. Pitbull just runs through DDP. DDP goes flying out of the ring off a headbutt, Pitbull forces him back in. Zybsko thinks Page's secret benefactor is just Kimberly. We'll see how right he is, hopefully. Pitbull locks on the Code Red armbar, Diamond Dallas gets to the ropes. Not only the ropes, he gets all the way to the collar of Teddy Long's shirt! Pittman releases the hold and leans over to check on Long. When he does so, he gets caught with a Diamond Cutter for three. They then air a promo for "Crazy Man" Randy Savage.
Mean Gene is interviewing the Shark. The Shark reveals that he's no longer in the Dungeon of Doom. Shark calls out Kevin Sullivan and Jimmy Hart for turning their back on him. "I was the one who almost ended Hulkamania, now I'm gonna end the Giant."
Next up is a Hulk Hogan video package. Its just lists of things Hogan has done and who he has done them with. Here, the second half begins.
Eric Bischoff says he's not going to dignify Razor Ramon calling him a weatherman wannabe by responding to the insult. The next matchup is The Shark vs The Giant for the title. Shark is billed from "Tsunami" and outweighs the Giant. This match is almost completely one-sided in the champ's favor. The Giant even bodyslams the enormous Shark. Shark gouges the Giant's eyes to shift the moment and utilizes his mostly eye-based offense. The Shark's flying clothesline from the top takes the Giant to the ground. Jimmy Hart hops up on the apron and distracts the Shark long enough for the Giant to recover. Chokeslam, three count. Big Bubba Rogers, in his new biker gear, shows up and shaves half of The Shark's head.
At the top of the next match, Eric calls Razor a "goof." The match is "The Total Package" Lex Luger vs Maxx. Lex has cool pyro, Maxx has a mohawk mullet. There's a loud Luger chant as he faces off against Maxx who is absolutely enormous. Almost Giant sized. On commentary, Eric is arguing with a PA. "Tell him if he wants to come out here, wait til the end of the hour." "I'll let him speak at the end of the hour." Lex wins the match with the Torture Rack. Eric warns us that the Torture Rack might not be the best weapon against the enormous Giant at Great American Bash. Gene comes out and reminds us that the last time Lex and the Giant squared off, Lex got chokeslammed through a table. Lex says that payback is coming.
Next is a cruiserweight match between Hardwork Bobby Walker, a recent Power Plant graduate, and Brad Armstrong. Hardwork is an absolute botch machine. He botches a monkey flip and a top rope crossbody. This match is awful and boring. Hardwork botches yet another top rope crossbody but still picks up the pin with it. Bobby is flabbergasted.
Lord Steven Regal faces off against Das Wunderkind Alex Wright next. Eric lets us know that the Nasty Boys are hanging out with Dennis Rodman. This match is fantastic, and even though Wright is incredibly limited at best, Regal is carrying him to a fine tv match. Its a real International Matchup. Wright picks up a two count off a belly to belly, and Regal picks up a two count via a kick to the face. Wright is totally gassed at this point. Regal drags Wright to the ground, puts him in a wristlock, leans over to the camera and calls out Razor Ramon. Wright is pretty bad. Regal gets the win via bridged pin after Wright botches a hurricanrana. Mean Gene comes out and interviews Regal. Regal calls Wright "Junior Adolph" and calls out Sting.
The last match of the night is Scott Steiner vs The Man They Call Sting. This is exactly the match you'd expect from Scott and Sting. A fast paced, largely unimpressive, match between two good-to-great wrestlers. Lex comes down to ringside part way through, followed by Rick. Lex quickly gets himself involved in the match, Rick makes the save. The two men start brawling and quickly Sting and Scott find themselves wrapped up in it at as well. The match ends in a disqualification as the locker room pours out and tries to separate the brawling men. In the middle of all the chaos, Razor Ramon appears in the announce booth.
"Hey, looky here, Ken doll, you got such a big mouth and we, we are sick of it. This is where the big boys play? What a joke. I'll tell you what, you go tell Billionaire Ted, go tell him to bring three of his very best. Maybe the Nacho Man, ooooh no. Maybe you get the Sting, oooo I'm so scared. You go get anybody you want, because we, we are taking over. You wanna go to war? You wanna war? You got one. Only lets do it right, in the ring, where it matters. Not on no microphones, not in no newspapers or dirt sheets, lets do it in the ring where it matters. If uh, if Billionaire Ted and his big boys, if they got any guts, because we are coming down here and like it or not, we are taking over."
Brother Count: Zilch
American Males Memorial Buff Bagwell Sighting: Marcus Alexander Bagwell is front and center in the first match of the night, even.
Randy Savage Award for Greatest Promo: Steven Regal cut one heck of a promo tonight:
"Listen to me you miserable little toad, you telling me how to act my life is like Quasimodo telling somebody how to bloody walk straight. now i have your attention, its memorial day. my father will be so pleased i beat jr adolph there. we have got a world champion here in wcw that's a bloody escapee from barnam and bailey's. weve got bloody savage running around thinking hes some kind of hardman. if you didnt notice, two weeks ago, i put the toughest man in wrestling out of the bloody game. then, we've got somebody from another wrestling organization wanting to take a war. dont forget who's in within sunshine, because im going nowhere and its time i had my bloody say in what goes on around here. *kid flips regal off* when you are a significant grappler as myself, you are not bothered by such meager peasants, and that means you sunshine. now, to prove myself, im going to make a statement, a challenge if you wish, to the man they call the franchise. if i beat this man, and you mr sting i hope you're listening, i will then be held within some esteem here and maybe get a shot at this bloody circus freak that we have as a champion. i want that painted face bloody con in the middle of this ring as soon as possible."
Let's Talk About This Wrestler's Backstory Watch: There are three guys we haven't seen hide nor hair of before tonight so let's check em out:
Steve Doll worked in WCCW a lot and also worked in the WWF undercard as one half of Well Dunn.
The Mauler worked in WWF as one half of the Beverly Brothers.
Maxx was formerly DDP's bodyguard Max Muscle.
People Hulk Hogan Knows and TV Shows/Movies Hulk Hogan Has Been In Watch: George Foreman, Shaq, Dennis Rodman, Kevin Greene, Sugar Ray Leonard, Thunder in Paradise, Baywatch, Mr. Nanny, and Suburban Commando.
The "Who Better Than El Dandy" New Challenger Watch: Why wont anyone refer to Razor Ramon by name!!! (Obviously, because the WWF owned the name Razor Ramon.) Why doesn't anyone care that Razor Ramon just appeared in the middle of the ring??? (Because WCW fans didn't regularly watch WWF and weren't familiar with Razor.)
The I Love the 90s Award for Relevancy: Some conversation needs to be made here:
Playstation: Killer of Hopes, Smasher of Egos is the slogan heard in this episode of Monday Nitro. We can only find three other webpages that have anything referencing this. They are a guy's signature on a dead video games forum, another guy's signature on rspw, and on a fantasy booking angelfire. We've sent feelers out to people who know way more about video games than us and maybe we can shed light on this really cool slogan.
The I Love the 90s Award for Relevancy: Some conversation needs to be made here:
Playstation: Killer of Hopes, Smasher of Egos is the slogan heard in this episode of Monday Nitro. We can only find three other webpages that have anything referencing this. They are a guy's signature on a dead video games forum, another guy's signature on rspw, and on a fantasy booking angelfire. We've sent feelers out to people who know way more about video games than us and maybe we can shed light on this really cool slogan.
Broski of the Week: Probably the little kid that flipped Regal off. Regal is awesome.
Next Week on Nitro: Will we learn more about this so-called Monday Night War? Will Steven Regal have a match? These are things to be hoped for.
Great American Bash:
Lex Luger vs The Giant for the WCW World Heavyweight Championship
Arn Anderson & Ric Flair vs Mongo McMichael & Kevin Greene
Rey Mysterio Jr vs Dean Malenko
Chris Benoit vs Taskmaster Kevin Sullivan, Falls Count Anywhere
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