Live from the home city of the Nature Boy, Charlotte, NC, its WCW Monday Nitro, the only live weekly wrestling broadcast. The crowd chants "We want Flair," as Tony and Larry recap the Great American Bash and explain, yet again, what happened to Eric Bischoff.
Backstage, Team WCW, Randy Savage, Sting, and Lex Luger, are geared up in their war paint (its just Sting's facepaint). Macho cuts a quick nonsense promo and runs out of there. Sting chastises the Outsiders for picking on an announcer. Luger says WCW is the best. That's when the Steiners run in, followed by the Harlem Heat. A triangle match forms and it will be for the WCW Tag Team Championship, later tonight.
Kevin Greene is scheduled to appear tonight, as well as the Outsiders, as we kick off the show in grand fashion with the Bluebloods, Lord Steven Regal and Squire Dave Taylor, accompanied by the Earl of Eaton of course, against, who else, the Public Enemy, Johnny Grunge, with a cast still on his arm, and Rocco Rock. Oh no. On their way down the ramp, TPE call out the Nasty Boyz for a fatal four way double dog collar match at Bash at the Beach. A match with Public Enemy and Nasty Boyz? With a ridiculous stipulation?? That you have to pay money for??? Oh boy! Anyway the match starts out with Rock and Regal working the crowd to the chimes of USA chants. This feels like a house show match as William Regal does the Public Enemy dances (the cabbage patch, etc) to some heat. Taylor tries for a small package early on but Rocco manages to botch it. A small package. Dude just kinda slumps over into the ropes instead of rolling. Taylor gets dropkicked out of the ring so Regal hops off the apron and runs around to give him a big hug. Back in the ring, Regal dodges a middle rope moonsault and the heels begin to build the heat. There's a sloppily executed hot tag. While the faces run wild, Eaton nails Grunge with his own cast. Taylor, however, is too busy prancing to take advantage. Grunge recovers, hits Taylor with the cast, three count fall in 5:49.
After the match, during the replay, the 1-800-COLLECT ad doesnt play and we get a small glimpse into Nitro commercial scheduling.
Next up is the Taskmaster, Kevin Sullivan, vs some jobber. Kip Abee? Ken Levine? Something like that. Whatever. The two men brawl into concessions again. Sullivan gets DQ'd and this "match" sucked for exactly two minutes and sixteen seconds.
A quick Blood Runs Cold vignette airs before Dean Malenko makes his way to ringside, to the sound of boos. Malenko will be facing Disco Inferno at Bash at the Beach. A big step up from Rey Misterio Jr. Malenko wrestles Hardwork Bobby Walker for a while. He locks on a Cloverleaf when Disco runs in. He dances in the ring, not interfering with the match. Malenko dropkicks Walker into Disco then hits a Northern Lights Suplex for three in 4:39.
Gene interviews Dean and Disco post-match. Disco has so much charisma he makes the dead fish that is Dean Malenko look like an absolute black hole. "You may be the man of 1000 holds, I'm the man who sold one thousand CDs~~~~~~!" He backs away from the microphone.
Next is Barbarian versus Eddy Guerrero. This is a good match, as I'm sure can be expected from Eddy Guerrero. Eddie squeaks out a win from a reversed superplex in 5:39. Eddy asks for another shot at Konnan, the crowd boos. Eddy says he wishes he could face the Outsiders at Bash at the Beach, a week from Sunday.
Next match is the Horsemen, Arn Anderson and Chris Benoit, vs the Rock N Roll Express, Ricky Morton and Robert Gibson. Oh no, not the Rock n Roll Express. The Express get booed out of the building by the biased fans. Mongo comes to the ring accompanying his fellow Horsemen. This match is, unfortunately, very even. Nothing really happens except the crowd WOOO!s at every chop. Mongo nails Gibson with his briefcase, Benoit picks up the pin in 6:33. The Horsemen start beating down the Express when JOE GOMEZ makes the save. He gets beat down too, surprisingly enough. Macho Man and Kevin Greene run out and the Horsemen retreat.
Backstage, Mean Gene is interviewing Ric Flair. He only has time to call out Savage and Greene before the other Horsemen run in. Mongo starts screaming into the mic. Usually that stuff goes under Mongo Sucks at the end but here its totally incoherent. He's just making noises. Flair then calls out Konnan? Maybe? Mongo was really loud. The crowd chants "We want Flair!" a little more as we cut to commercial.
Diamond Dallas Page is facing off against Alex Wright in the next match. The crowd hates Alex Wright almost as muchas they love Flair for some reason. The winner of this match will be facing Hacksaw Jim Duggan at Bash at the Beach.Wright gets two early on with a diving plancha but eats a Diamond Cutter at 4:14 for the three count. Post-match, DDP says everyone is trying to screw him, especially WCW bookers for putting him in a taped fist match against Hacksaw.
Backstage, Kevin Greene is interviewed by Mean Gene Okerlund. He says he's after Mongo now. He says he and the Macho Man are gonna get the Four Horsemen when football season is over.
Savage is painted up like Sting and accompanied by Kevin Greene for the penultimate match, against VK Wallstreet. There are loud, deafening "We want Flair" chants. Savage gets a 2 count on Wallstreet off Greene's distraction. Savage tries to drop the elbow, VKW dodges but Greene punishes him allowing Savage to drop the elbow for real and pick up the three count. 4:37.
Our final match is the triangle match, Harlem Heat vs the Steiners vs Lex Luger & Sting. Triangle matches are so boring and this is no exception. Sting and Luger, of course, get trapped outside the ring, interrupting pins and stuff. Finally when they get in, the Steiners and the Heat get the heat. Luger hot tags in just as Razor and Diesel make their way down through the stands, baseball bats in tow. Booker rolls Luger up on the distraction for three in 8:50. Security, armed with guns, rushes the ring to protect the wrestlers from the baseball bats. The Harlem Heat beat feet to the back carrying their new belts. There are Diesel chants as the Outsiders, outnumbered and outarmed, back off.
At commentary, Tony cuts a little promo about how much WCW means. He says, if it comes down to it, he'll defend WCW with his own bare hands. Brain tries to skedaddle.
Kevin Greene Sucks: "I'm gonna go on a Mongo hunt. I'm talkin' Lock n' Load, baby, crosshairs on target, fire for effect."
Move of the Show: Alex Wright's little arm dance, what a great dance.
The American Males Memorial Buff Bagwell Sighting: NO BUFF
The Here Comes A New Challenger Watch: Kip Abee is a man who lost literally every match he ever had except two, including tonight, which he won via DQ.
Broski of the Week: Shout outs to "all the little Stingers out there." (Thanks, Brain)
Bash at the Beach - July 7th, 1996
Diamond Dallas Page vs Hacksaw Jim Duggan (Taped Fist Match)
Rocco Rock vs Johnny Grunge vs Brian Knobs vs Jerry Saggs (Fatal Four Way Double Dog Collar Match)
Macho Man Randy Savage & Lex Luger & Sting vs Diesel & Razor Ramon & ????
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