Monday, April 11, 2016

Monday Night Raw - 4/11/2016

Show tonight is dedicated to Blackjack Mulligan and Shane O'Mac is announced as being in charge again. Why did Wrestlemania happen? What was the point? Anyway, it's Raw and it's live from beautiful Los Angeles, California. Last week was so good I didn't mute the show and start listening to k-pop until the second half of the third hour. Maybe they can repeat this week.

Shane is out first and thank goodness they're acknowledging that they announced Shane is in charge instead of pretending like that news didn't get out in advance. A week after falling off a 20 foot cell, he's dancing and stuff and commentary is trying to cover for him. LA drops a "Shane O'Mac" chant on him. Shane says he's in charge not because of Vince but because of the fans right here tonight in Los Angeles, baby! Shane says there's going to be "new superstars, new opportunies, fresh matchups." Shane announces that Charlotte will be wrestling Nattie for the Womens title, there will be a tournament for a shot at the New Day's belts, and AJ will be wrestling Sami Zayn tonight for the opportunity to be included in a triple threat match at Payback for Roman's world heavyweight title. Kevin Owens comes out and runs down Shane and Sami Zayn. Sami doesn't deserve a shot at a shot at the title says Owens. He says he's getting screwed over. Shane says Owens screwed Sami last week and lost his number one contendership match. Owens says he was robbed at Wrestlemania because he didn't get pinned to lose the belt and he was robbed on Raw last week because he didn't get pinned to lose the number one contendership match. He demands his rematch for the Intercontinental title. Shane says Owens has to earn his rematch in a match right now against Cesaro. Cesaro has a new entrance where he walks on from stage left while the 007 gun barrel follows him on the minitron. It rules. Cesaro rules. After a hell of a match, Cesaro pins Owens clean with the Gotch-style Neutralizer that Cole actually calls correctly.

Backstage, Charlotte complains to Ric that she should be on JBL's Legends show instead of wrestling the undeserving Natalya. Ric says if Shane knew his place and the Authority ran the show, Charlotte would be on vacation instead of defending her belt. Dr. Phil shows up and lectures Charlotte for letting Ric help her cheat. Charlotte storms out.

Owens confronts Shane elsewhere backstage. He says that whatever happens to Sami Zayn tonight is on Shane's head. Shane has security escort Owens from the building.

It's a New Day in Los Angeles tonight! They make some basketball jokes about the upcoming tournament. The bracket is pretty bad because there's not enough tag teams. Enzo and Cass will be meeting the Dudleys in the second round though. Xavier says the tournament begins now and Big E begins to gyrate.

The Lucha Dragons are out for their first round matchup against the Dudley Boyz. The camera misses both Kalisto's and Sin Cara's flippy ring entrances. Excellent work, Kevin. During the commercial break, D-Von clotheslined Kalisto and put him out, clutching his neck. The ref and the doctor and Sin Cara are tending to Kalisto when Bubba rolls Sin Cara into the ring and screams at the ref to continue the match. After a while of stretching the match out, they hit Sin Cara with the 3D. D-Von tries to pin him but Bubba breaks it up because he's the legal man. Kalisto is still lying in pain on the ground but Bubba doesn't stomp him, making me think its legit. Oh boy. Enzo and Big Cass' music hits. Enzo does his deal and Bubba and D-Von cut a promo on them, saying that the only reason Enzo and Cass exist is because of the Dudleys. Enzo calls him Devin. Enzo says the only reason he exists is because his parents had sex, how you doin'. Cass does his SAWFT deal. The end.

Roman is out to a cacophony of boos for the 9 o'clock segment. Roman gets booed so bad he can't find an opening to speak so he talks over the crowd to do his new catchphrase (I'm not a good guy, I'm not a bad guy, I'm the guy) but it sounds so stilted and bad. He says he's going to wrestle AJ Styles at Payback, and maybe he'll have to wrestle Sami Zayn too. He has respect for those journeymen but they've never won the WWE title. The League interrupts him. The lads want to insert themselves into the Payback match. They brag about how they beatdown and kicked out Barrett. They're stronger than ever and Roman should be scared of them. Rusev says Roman thinks his a guy, well good for him, because Rusev is a man. He's bigger, stronger, and better looking. Rusev says he should be the face of the WWE and Roman responds by saying he's the ass of the WWE. It's real funny. Alberto starts to promo as the crowd chants "si" at him. Roman invites all the lads to the ring and the lads acquiesce. As they start to brawl, the lights flicker and the Wyatt Family appears. They chase off the League, leaving Reigns in the ring alone with them. They face off and Roman looks shook until Shane interrupts. He books a tag match for the main event, Roman Reigns and Bray Wyatt vs two lads.

Dr. Phil is at ringside for the Women's title match between Natalya and Charlotte. Nattie puts Charlotte in the sharpshooter, Ric gets Charlotte disqualified by attacking the ref while Charlotte taps, Nattie wins by disqualification, Charlotte retains her belt, Dr. Phil has a lot of opinions about why Charlotte let down all women everywhere. He is so proud of the Women's division in WWE.

Backstage, Renee interviews Sami. He's ready for his shot at the big time and he didn't come all the way to the WWE to lose this shot. AJ runs in, he says he was there with Sami on the indies and now they're both together but he's the only number one contender and he's going to keep it that way. I hope some good brothers are there to support AJ. Fingers crossed.

The Usos do their war dance before their match in the tag team tournament against the Axeman and Heath Slater representing the Social Outcasts. Jimmy rolls up Heath Slater after they interrupt a hug train. While the usos celebrate, some real good brothers hit the ring. Gallows and Gun are here, being called Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows. They lay Jimmy out with the Magic Killer (and Cole actually calls it correctly) and then Karl slams Jimmy into the corner of the barricade face first. Refs swarm and push them out of the ringside area while the crowd chants "Bullet Club." I wonder if there's a reason they hit the ring after the Usos match or what. Maybe they'll replace them in the second round of the tournament? Jey got slammed into the barricade hard enough for me to buy an injury angle. Or maybe it's a red herring and they're still going to lay out Sami Zayn in the number one contenders match.

Backstage, Miz has cucumbers on his eyes while Maryse screams at a PA for giving the Miz incorrect colors of m&ms. JoJo comes into try and interview the Miz so Maryse calls her a "Miz groupie" and tells her to get lost. The Miz says he's a bigger star than Ryder or Cesaro. If Cesaro is the Swiss Superman, the Miz is his kryptonite. The camera pans to the left and Cesaro is standing there in sunglasses. He says he'll uppercut the Miz and leaves. The Miz goes to take a sip from a bottle of water. Maryse tries to stop him because its domestic water but he takes a sip before she can and he starts to gag.

AJ vs Sami is up. I was sure something BC was going to go down in this match but them getting involved in the last one threw that out. Styles pins Sami clean following a good but fairly heatless match after his Phenomenal Forearm.

Backstage, Shane congratulates AJ and Sami on their match. And that's it. Nothing else.

Jericho's music hits and he comes out for the highlight reel. Jericho says he has the biggest star in WWE history. He describes the Miz (former world champ, Wrestlemania main eventer, etc) but it turns out his guest is himself. He goes on and interviews himself for several minutes. He says that nobody can touch him when Dean Ambrose comes out carrying a potted plant and poster board. Looks like he's going to start his own Highlight Reel. He pulls a microphone out of his pocket and starts sizing up the set. He says its his show now. He gently gets rid of Jericho's potted plant and replaces it with his own potted plant. Dean hands Jericho a piece of paper saying it's a memo but it's actually a speeding ticket. He hands Jericho a second piece of paper with a giant hole cut out of it. The paper with the hole says the Highlight Reel is cancelled and replaced with the Ambrose Asylum. Ambrose puts on a clip on tie. I really, honestly, don't understand these talk show-within-a-show segments. The first guest on the Ambrose Asylum is Chris Jericho. Ambrose asks the crowd not to boo his guests. He asks Y2J what's up with the scarf Jericho always wears. Jericho says it cost $750. Jericho says he wears the scarf because the rules don't apply to him. He does what he wants whenever he wants and if Ambrose doesn't look out, he's gonna "bury" him. Jericho orders Ambrose to take his "stupid ass" out of the ring. Jericho swats the microphone out of Ambrose's hand and Ambrose lays Jericho out with the Dirty Deeds. Doing his move knocked his tie off so he retrieves it and puts it back on before signing off.

Backstage, Truth and Goldust bicker. Truth promised Goldust an audition in LA but instead Truth entered them into the tag team tournament. The camera pans over to Dr. Phil and the crowd boos him real bad. He walks away.

Adam Rose versus Apollo Crews, the new Neville. Crews beats Rose with the spinout sitout powerbomb.

Another Colons Puerto Rican vignette. They're Caribbean cool. This is followed by a vignette for Baron Corbin.

Bray comes out alone, without Rowan or Strowman. Roman comes out after a commercial break, assuming Bray cut a promo during the entire break. Representing the lads tonight it's Del Rio and Sheamus. After a pretty hot and fun match, Rusev goes to interfere but the lights flicker and the rest of the Wyatt family show up to even the odds and neutralize Rusev. Bray takes Del Rio out with the Sister Abigail and gets the pin while Roman spears Sheamus.

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