Live from beautiful Omaha, Nebraska, its Monday Night Raw! A bunch of folks got fired this week including Damian Sandow. That's all I got.
The show opens with Chris Jericho this week. He says he seriously injured Dean Ambrose last week and he won't be here tonight or maybe ever again. He has the next best thing though, the corpse of Mitch the potted plant. I don't like the Mitch gimmick. He says Mitch is more interesting, is more charismatic, and has more worth to the WWE than Dean Ambrose. The WWE fans relate to Dean Ambrose because they are also slobs and losers. Jericho can't relate to Dean. Tonight Chris is going to give us the Gift of Jericho. Enzo and Big Cass' music hits. Big Cass himself comes down. He says he wants the receipt so he can return the Gift of Jericho. He says the New Era is here. He says "I" a lot like Enzo doesn't exist. Get well soon, Enzo. He says he wants to "fight" Jericho right now. Cass says Jericho might be the best in the world, but he's "seven feet tall, and you can't teach that." Jericho leaves the ring while the crowd chants "sawft" before Cass spells it out. This pisses Jericho off, he runs at the ring but gets big booted off the apron by Cass. Woof.
Backstage, Jericho complains to Stephanie about the New Era. The New Era stuff is more forced than Ruthless Aggression. Stephanie says the New Era is Shane's best idea ever and she books Chris Jericho vs Big Cass in the main event. Boy, that's a heck of a main event. Maybe we'll get a big schmozz like at ROH Global Wars last night. Maybe that will make three hours of Raw worth it.
Dolph out first vs Corbin. Corbin's entrance is real dumb with the curved entry way/minitron. The spotlights don't line up. They do a talking head thing with him that gets cut off where he talks about the New Era. I hate the New Era. Where's Kane. Almost immediately cut to commercial. When we return from commercial, Baron beats Ziggler 1, 2, 3.
Backstage, Shane talks to Charlotte and Ric. They suck up Shane and ask him to let Ric be at ringside for the submission match at Extreme Rules against Natalya. Instead of doing that, Shane bans Ric from ringside tonight as well for Charlotte's match against Paige.
Elsewhere backstage, Gallows, Gun, and Styles are interviewed by Jojo. AJ says he showed Roman mercy when he refused to hit Roman with the chair, but Roman powerbombed him through a table anyway. He's never going to show Roman mercy again and tonight the Club is back together. AJ too sweets Gallows and Gun.
Gorgeous Truth vs Goldango face off before the R-Truth vs Fandango singles match. Cole says this is better than Iron Man vs Captain America. R-Truth frosted his tips. JBL says he's worried about Ozzy Osborne's hairstylist showing up because "she's cute." This match is a nightmare. Truth pins Fandango.
Backstage, Cesaro, Owens, and Miz are bickering in front of Shane and Stephanie. Stephanie says there will be a triple threat for the Intercontinental title at Extreme Rules. Miz says its not fair to have a triple threat. Sami Zayn runs in and says, yeah, it should be a Fatal Fourway! Shane says Sami hasn't earned his shot. Sami offers to face the Miz in a singles match and if he wins he gets added to the Extreme Rules match. Stephanie and Shane book it. Then Stephanie acts nice to Shane and he makes a face.
Nattie is at ringside for Charlotte's match against Paige. She says she did not tap out at Payback. I missed Paige. Nattie says we, the WWE universe, should follow her cat 2paws on Insta. They wrestle until Nattie gets up from commentary. Then Ric comes out and they face off on the outside. Shane's music hits and he and a bunch of referees drag Ric out. Paige gets a roll up pin off the distraction.
Sami and Miz with Maryse out next. Sami beats the Miz pillar to post. After a commercial break, the Miz flips Sami to the outside and he bounces off the ringsteps. Backstage, Owens and Cesaro are keeping a close eye on the match. Zayn wins and gets entered into the title match with the exploder in the corner followed by the Helluva Kick.
Backstage, Renee interviews Becky Lynch. Becky threatens Emma until Emma shows up and Dana Brooke jumps Becky!
Vignette airs for Darren Young. Darren wants Bob Backlund to be his life coach. Bob Backlund wants to be Darren's wrestling coach. His first piece of advice as a life coach? Wrestling is life! Make Darren Young Great Again.
Then they air a little thing for Up Up, Down Down that is also a Pizza Hut ad.
Backstage, Zack and Owens bicker in front of Shane. Zack says he deserves Owens' spot in the fatal four way. Owens says that Zack doesn't deserve to exist. Shane books Zack vs Owens for a spot in the fatal four way. Woo woo woo, you know it.
Elsewhere backstage, The Family (Roman and the Usos) get interviewed by Tom Phillips. There's a six man elimination tag tonight. Roman says that "we" are going to eliminate Gallows and Gun, but "I" am going to eliminate AJ Styles.
Sin Cara with Kalisto faces Rusev next. Sin Cara rolls Rusev up after Kalisto and Lana both try to interfere.
Puerto Rico vignette with the Colons again. I think this is a repeat of the second vignette they played. It says they're arriving next week. Can't wait to see what dumb gimmick that has nothing to do with the vignettes they'll get this time.
Gun and Gallows and AJ out next. The BC quickly eliminate Jey Uso after Gallows cheap shots Jey and Anderson uses the tights to secure the pin. AJ tags in against Roman but Gallows tags himself in before they can square off. Jimmy pins Karl with a schoolboy, leaving the match 2 vs 2. Jimmy Uso got eliminated during the commercial break via Phenomenal Phorearm. Roman eliminates Gallows with the superman punch moments later. Loud "Roman" chant in Omaha tonight. AJ lays out Roman then clears the announce table to maybe repay the powerbomb from last week. Roman was just playing possum though and he throws AJ over the announce table with force. Anderson and Gallows run back out with a chair and stop Roman from powerbombing AJ. The bell rings, I guess Roman won via DQ. The Usos make the save before Gallows and Gun can execute Roman. They get rid of the Usos but let Roman recover. He spears both of them but when he turns around, AJ is waiting with a Pele kick. AJ sets Roman up for the Clash through a steel chair. Roman reverses and dumps him out onto the apron. They have a standoff, the chair equidistant between them. They stare at each other for a while and the crowd goes wild. Roman gets a hold of the chair but instead of hitting AJ with it, he hands it to him and waves as if to say "just bring it." Loud dueling chant, "AJ Styles/Roman Reigns." The WWE got what they wanted in Omaha. AJ throws the chair at Roman and goes for the Phenomenal Phorearm but Roman bends down to pick the chair up and AJ jumps clear over Roman's head. He lands and rolls out of the ring to boos. Roman stands tall in the ring with the chair and his belt as AJ backs up the ramp. I forgot he was the champ. That match was really well done. Wish Gallows got eliminated before Karl though, but that's just mostly because Gallows is a bad wrestler.
Zack Ryder vs Kevin Owens. Owens is booked for Sportscenter tomorrow night. Owens beats Zack, quick and easy. RIP Long Island Iced Z. Owens rolls out of the ring to confront Cole and make him say that it's the Kevin Owens show.
Renee interviews Big Cass before his Big Main Event. He says, in honor of Enzo, "Bada boom, I'll be the only guy left standing in the room." He asks Renee how she's doing. How polite of him.
OMAHA, DON'T YOU DARE BE SOUR. A talking head promo with the Vaudevillians says they're going to beat the New Day and turn back the clock. Presumably to presegregation days. The New Day are going to bring the power of the Extreme Booty. O. They say "All hail the Booty! O!" Xavier sings a parody of A Whole New World from Aladdin but about Booty-Os. Haha Big E makes the segregation joke I just made four sentences ago but swerves the punchline and says the Vaudevillians hate smartphone users, not black people. Kofi is looking very PLUR tonight, swinging his unicorn horns like glowsticks. The Dudleys hit the ring, I guess they have a match with the New Day after the commercial break. They wrestle for a while before the Vaudevillians get involved and jump Xavier. D-Von levels Kofi off the distraction with a lariat for the win and the Vaudevillians pick the bones. They hit Kofi with the Whirling Dervish which is a good name and I didn't know they even had a move so there you go.
Big Cass makes his entrance for the main event. But someone jumps Jericho during his entrance and steals his jacket. It's Dean Ambrose and not Finn Balor. It should have been a Real Rock n Rolla taking the jacket from the Ayatollah of Rock N Rollah. Ambrose starts to demolish Jericho's jacket until Jericho runs down the ramp to stop him. They brawl. Jericho tries to escape but Big Cass cuts him off and slams into the barricade before rolling him back into the ring for Ambrose to Dirty Deeds. Ambrose finishes off the jacket by cutting off the lapel. Backstage, Stephanie and Shane are agog at Ambrose destroying a $15,000 jacket. Shane says he and Stephanie work well together. Stephanie suggests they should star on an episode of Ride Along together. Shane laughs and leaves. Stephanie picks up a framed picture of Shane with Vince and does an evil look. They cut back to the ring where Jericho is still having a tantrum. Good night from Omaha!
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