Rollins out to start the show. the Raw and Smackdown podiums on the stage. He skips them and heads down to the ring though. We're getting the Shield triple threat at Battleground and Seth says its what we always wanted. He starts to say something about the match but cuts himself off, "Let's talk about Roman Reigns." He says he's shooting. The "Roman Reigns scandal" embarrassed him because he (storyline, he's not shooting) brought Roman into the WWE. He calls a tweet a "statement." Why say you're going to shoot and then use the bad WWE scripts. He shows the tweet on the titantron. He breaks the tweet down, word by word. Roman in the tweet says he apologizes to his "family, friends, and fans." Seth says he clearly didn't have friends and family because he was Mr. 1 vs All and also didn't have any fans. Roman also said he owns up to his "mistake" in the tweet. Seth says Roman doesn't own, in fact he owns Roman! Roman doesn't deserve to be in Battleground, says Seth, to the cheers of the crowd. Seth demands his match against Ambrose be one on one because its what he deserves, being the former champ and all. Dean's music hits and he saunters down the ramp with the belt. Dean asks Seth if his anger towards Roman is just misplaced anger at Dean. Dean says he made a mistake just like Roman: being friends with a skinny jeans guy like Seth! Dean says the triple threat match is still on, as far as he's concerned. Seth says "bullcrap" off mic right before AJ Styles makes his entrance, new ring jacket with kanji printed on it in tow. AJ says it should still be a triple threat match, but with him instead of Roman. AJ says he beat Cena and that should qualify him for the title match. Dean says Roman is still in the match, his suspension ends before the pay per view. AJ says fine, make it a fatal four way. Dean says fine but Seth thinks its bullcrap! Cena's music hits, he says that Dean might be a fighting champion but he won't wrestle the Franchise. Cena gets a lot of cheap heat, namedropping Tampa things, and tries to insert himself into a Fatal Five-Way. Seth thinks that's bullcrap too and out comes Stephanie. Stephanie says Dean is the champ and she's embarrassed about it. Shane isn't here tonight. He's on vacation again. She books two matches. If Cena can beat Seth and AJ can beat Dean, they get added to the WWE title match and it becomes a Fatal Five-Way. They should call it something other than Fatal.
Our first match tonight is a tag match in the Womens division. Charlotte and Dana Brooke vs Sasha Banks and Paige. Before the bell, with Charlotte and Paige facing off in the ring, Dana Brooke entered the ring, patted Charlotte on the belly exactly once, and then left the ring. Dana throws the worst forearms at Paige in the corner who swats her off the apron with a heck of a forearm that reminds me of Dragon/Jigsaw. Sasha taps Dana out with the Banks Statement. Michael Cole says welcome to all the Chinese fans watching tonight for the first time on PPTV!
Lana introduces Rusev. Some guy in the crowd has a Legion of Doom sign. I don't know if I want to break it to him. Titus is out to wrestle the Rusev and get revenge for Rusev beating him in front of his kids. Titus attacks Rusev before the bell, forcing the referee to tear them apart before the bell can ring. The two of them pound each other for a while. The crowd is incredibly behind Titus. Titus, the man who wanted to destroy Rusev, wins by countout after he dumps him in the timekeeper's area and runs back to the ring.
Stephanie is on the phone backstage whens he runs into Corporate Kane. There is Kane. He begs her for the GM position at Smackdown when Miz and Maryse walk up. Miz and Maryse are pissed there's no red carpet now that he's back from filming. Stephanie buries the WWE Films division. Kane plugs his movie and the Miz calls it an "indie film." Kane cites the WWE rulebook on the 30 day rule re: defending a title and says Stephanie should book the Miz in a title match to ensure the belt stays around his waist. Stephanie does so! Kane says "ciao."
Seth vs Cena is the 9 o'clock segment. I kneejerk want to say this is a match they should charge money for, especially given the crowd reaction, but that model is dwindling huh. This match is amazing and red hot. Cena locks Seth in the STF and the Club roll down to ringside. They surround the ring as Cena releases the hold. They distract Cena long enough for Rollins to Pedigree Cena and knock him out of the title match at Battleground.
Enzo and Cass out, they do their thing. They're going to wrestle some local ham n eggers I don't recognize. Enzo asks the crowd to do the wave during their match. They squash those jabronis with literally three moves. As they say the jobbers are sawft, the Social Outcasts make their return. Heath, Bo, and the Axeman. Bo says they're hard. They do little lifting motions with their arms as they say they are hard. Heath says they're hard and looking for some action. The Axeman says he's a hard OG and he's coming right now. Enzo and Cass get them to start bickering about who is harder. Bo says he'll show Enzo and Cass how hard they really are. Cass big boots Heath to death. Bo and Axel retreat. They back up the ramp screaming "WE'RE HARD!" Cass spells out what they really are.
Darren and Bob vignette. Darren wants a singles title, that would make him great again. He asks Bob for advice on being a singles champ, Bob says he was tag team partners with Pedro Morales. Bob wants to usher in the Darren Young era the way that he himself ushered in the Bob Backlund era.
Something happened with Becky and Nattie but I was in the bathroom. Jameis Winston is in the crowd.
Jericho's Highlight Reel with Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens is the next segment. I still do not understand the whole fake talk show thing. I hate it. Jericho yells at the crowd to be quiet. Jericho tries to goad them into fighting each other. He talks about how they were best friends until Owens stabbed Sami in the back and "twisted the Valerian steel." Nerd. Sami says he's willing to torpedo his career as long as it ends Owens' as well, just look at all the matches they've had, all the opportunities Sami has cost Kevin. Sami wants a blowoff at Battleground. They might get drafted to two different shows but they need to have closure first. Owens sulks. Sami calls him a coward and liar. He says Owens lied about him attacking Sami in NXT wasn't personal. He demands the truth. He demands Owens say that he resenting Sami for getting signed by the WWE before him. This promo is Awesome. Capital A. This is the ten o'clock segment. Good pick, WWE. Owens says he told Sami the truth already, what he did was business, not personal. I hope this leads to Steenerico wrestling for the tag titles at a Wrestlemania eventually. Owens says he was happy for Sami when he got to the WWE, why wasn't Sami happy for him? Because he's a bad friend, says Kevin. He says he's always been the better friend. Owens accepts a match at Battleground. Jericho undercuts the incredible drama by being a big ham as usual. Might as well be Dok Hendrix out there. Jericho calls Sami a terrible friend too. "A terrible friend and a terrible example of what it takes to make it in the WWE." Jericho says Owens is better than Sami because he's willing to follow in his footsteps. Jericho says Sami is weak because he cares about "the muttonheads in the crowd." It doesn't matter what the muttonheads think! Jericho says Sami caring about muttonheads makes him want to slap him. He doesn't though, instead he gives him the gift of Jericho. Sami and Owens both superkick him, Early Onset Alzheimer's!
Miz next to defend his title. It's Demon Kane! Through hellfire and brimstone, etc. Maryse gets injured and Miz retains after walking out on the match. Backstage, its revealed that Maryse was just acting. An
Next up is a tag team match, Cesaro and Apollo Crews vs Sheamus and Alberto Del Rio. League of Nations lives! Del Rio unsurprisingly walks out. Crews wins with his powerbomb on Sheamus.
Backstage, Stephanie calls Dean asymmetrical. She wants AJ to win in his match so the odds are stacked higher against Dean retaining. He's too asymmetrical to be champion.
The New Day show up on the titantron dressed like the Wyatts. Big E has a Freddie Krueger glove made of the unicorn horns. Kofi is dressed like Rowan and Woods is dressed liker Harper. E's less dressed like a Wyatt and more dressed like Hillbilly Jim. Kofi's gonna feed the Wyatts some Booty-Os so they stop being so negative all the time. He says the most intimidating thing about the Wyatts is their hygiene. Big E gets real existed because they're going to roast them. Big E tries to get cheap heat but Kofi says Cena beat him to it. Big E beat Cena to it because he was born in Tampa. Kofi asks who in their right minds would wear the Wyatt get ups and the crowd starts doing the "whoooo????" thing before the New Day can do it. They decide they're going to roast the Wyatts for the rest of the show. If only. The lights go out and the Wyatts appear on the ramp. The crowd drowns Wyatt out with New Day Rocks chants but he's saying that relentless positivity leads to stagnation. The world is too dangerous to be as naive as the New Day. Positive thinking doesn't work, says Bray Wyatt. Positive thinking doesn't help put food in starving mouths. Kofi says the Power of Positivity is a way of life. Big E starts gyrating. Kofi starts yelling in an Jamaican accent. Bray asks Woods if he agrees with Kofi and E because Woods looks "a little shook." Bray says he can trust him. Woods looks like he's in a bad place. New Day falls. Smash cut to backstage where AJ commiserates with the Club.
Elsewhere backstage, post commercial, NeNe asks the New Day if it was a good idea to continue antagonizing the Wyatt Family. Big E and Kofi say the Wyatts need to calm down, they're way too hot, they need to cut it!!!!! Woods wanders off, looking emotional.
The main event is next, AJ Styles vs Dean Ambrose. If AJ wins he gets a spot in the title match at Battleground. Rollins is at ringside on commentary. They wrestle, it's what you expect. The Club come down to ringside and AJ takes advantage of the distraction to hit Dean with the Bloody Sunday. Cena comes down to even the odds and that distraction lets Dean hit AJ with the Dirty Deeds for the win. After the match, the Club lays out Cena and Seth lays out Dean. Evil wins tonight.
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