Monday, July 25, 2016

Monday Night Raw - 7/25/2016

Welcome to beautiful Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where we are LIVE for the first Monday Night Raw of the new brand extension. Raw has a new ugly logo and a bad theme but they won the draft. Ambrose retained the WWE title and took it to Smackdown at Battleground. All the other finishes were good but obviously there's little storyline momentum. Bayley debuted as Sasha's mystery partner, Sami killed Kevin Owens in classic Shawn Michaels "I Love You" style, From a new announce position at the top of the ramp, the new commentary team is Byron, Cole, and Corey Graves. Let's take it to the ring!

Monday, July 18, 2016

Monday Night Raw - 7/18/2016

Live from beautiful Providence, Rhode Island, it is the last Monday Night Raw before the brand extension returns! Lesnar pissed hot. I forget if this happened last week or this week but it happened. His loss to Mark Hunt will probably overturned, he will probably get a two year suspension from MMA, and he might end up suspended for a month, depending on whether or not that will affect his ability to wrestle at Summerslam.

Monday, July 11, 2016

Monday Night Raw - 7/11/2016

Live from the motor city, beautiful Detroit, Michigan, it's Monday Night Raw! There's a battle royal! Apollo Crews gets an entrance somehow but the Miz interrupts it. The Andre the Giant statue from the ARMBAR is at ringside but its not gold now, it looks like its made out of Velveeta. A hatchet man sign in the second row. The match is for the number one contendership to the Miz's Intercontinental title. The statue is at ringside because Baron Corbin demanded it. Bob Backlund is also at ringside. Miz namedrops Morrison as someone who's career was ruined by the WWE Draft. The final five in the battle royal are Baron Corbin, Dolph Ziggler, Alberto Del Rio, Apollo Crews, and Darren Young. Dolph superkicks Del Rio out of the ring but not over the top rope. He rolls back into the ring and no-sells for Corbin for a little bit before letting Corbin whip him into the corner where Apollo Crews dumps him out. Corbin tosses Ziggler out, then Apollo and Corbin eliminate each other like in that Royal Rumble with Cena and Batista. Bob Backlund runs in the ring, picks Darren up, and runs around with him. Bob looks so excited and Darren looks lightly enthused.

Monday, July 4, 2016

Monday Night Raw - 7/4/2016

A food fight instigated by the Vaudevillians, the Miz, and Maryse happened. While everyone foodfights, Cesaro and Crews arm wrestle. Eventually Kane and Show put Heath Slater through a table and everyone parts as friends, albeit covered in food. I hate this show. Kevin Owens hid under a table and emerges once everyone is gone. He grabs a hot dog and says "This never would have happened on Canada Day!" Then a ghost pies him. Live from beautiful Columbus, Ohio on the most annoying holiday to be a wrestling fan, it is the worst show on television including Game of Thrones. This show is going to be insufferable tonight.