Monday, November 28, 2016

Monday Night Raw - 11/28/2016

Welcome to beautiful Charlotte, North Cackalacky, the Queen City, it's Monday Night Raw! In this week's recap of last week's show, it clearly shows Jericho wearing a Sin Cara mask and not a Hayabusa mask like I thought. Whoops.



Show opens with the Highlight Reel. Chris' guest tonight is his best friend Kevin Owens. Jericho is still wearing the Popeye scarf. Owens comes out but he's not wearing a suit or his gear which feels like a first. Chris and Kevin brag about how they had Thanksgiving last month being Canadian. Kevin says what he's thankful for. He says he's thankful that he is the face of Monday Night Raw and he's thankful for his best friend, Chris Jericho. They hug. Jericho is thankful that Seth Rollins is such a screw up. He says that he didn't interfere in the mask last week. It wasn't Chris Jericho in a Sin Cara mask, it was Sin Cara in a Chris Jericho mask. "He was wearing the Mask of Jericho. Put it on mannnnnnnn." Kevin drops the news that Rollins isn't medically cleared to be on Raw tonight. As soon as he says that, the Big Dog comes out. Bow wow to the Big Dog. They start talking but Owens trips over his words. Jericho covers for him by pointing out that English is his second language. Owens asks Reigns if he thinks he's really "The Guy." Reigns says he is and the crowd boos. He says Owens is just A Guy because he needs help to retain his belt. Owens says he doesn't need Chris Jericho and Chris looks so hurt. Reigns says that Owens wouldn't still have that belt if he didn't need Chris. Chris threatens to put Roman on the list and really teases it out but Kevin cuts him off by screaming at him. He says that he can handle it on his own. He threatens to powerbomb Roman on the apron and put him out like he did Seth. Roman says he wants this Owens, not Joke Owens Joke. Owens books the match tonight as non-title but if Roman wins he gets a title shot at Roadblock: End of the Line. Roman gives Owens a spoiler for the Kevin Owens Show: The Big Dog's gonna be kicking his ass!

Backstage, Owens and Jericho bicker. Owens tells Chris he doesn't need him and Chris says he doesn't need him either! They break up. I hope this is playacting again. The Mickster shows up and books the match that Owns already booked. Jericho storms out and says he's leaving the building. I have a feeling he's going to be back. I have a similar feeling about Mr. Not-Here-Tonight Rollins.

BRAUNNNNN. He's wrestling R-Truth who is accompanied by Goldust. Braun immediately squashes him. Then Braun sticks his tongue out in a weird way. Stroman turns on Goldust but Sami Zayn makes the save. Sami and Braun brawl and Sami gets some offense in but Braun gets him in the end with the Big Ending-esque move Braun does. He puts Sami in the tree of Joey Lawrence. A bunch of refs and Foley come down to try and stop Braun from killing Sami. Smash cut to commercial. Back from commercial, Braun is gone. Mick is being interviewed by Byron. Mick says that he's saving Sami from himself because he won't stop going after Braun even if Braun keeps killing him. Sami gets in Mick's face. He says the only person he needs to be saved from is Mick especially now that Mick is just Stephanie's puppet. Mick says it doesn't matter what Stephanie did because now a fight with Braun is a fight Sami can never win. He says Sami just needs to give up. His teeth fall out. Sami says that Mick used to be a hero but now he's just a stumbling block. "I'm looking at nothing more than a hypocrite." Sami storms off.

Backstage, Charotte and Dana are prepping for the title match against Sasha Banks.

Next match is in the Cruiserweight division, Cedric Alexander vs Tony Nese. I guess they're teasing an Alicia Fox/Cedric angle. Charlotte is Cedric's hometown and he's actually getting a response unlike basically every other Cruiserweight. Cedric of course gets pinned in his hometown by the Premiere Athlete, the worst worker in the Cruiserweight division. That's how you get people over, have the guys who get a reaction lose to the guys who don't.

Enzo and Cass do the merch shilling then a Did You Know slide says that the WWE youtube channel is successful. Great.

Backstage, a woman interviews Chris and asks him if his fight with Owens is real and not a tease like last week. Chris says of course he's being serious. Chris doesn't think Owens is his best friend anymore. "If he doesn't need me, I guess I don't need him." He screams at the woman to leave and she walks into a wall. Jericho then heads out to the loading dock where his limo is waiting. When the driver opens the door he knocks the list of Jericho onto the ground. Jericho bends down to pick it up and when he stands up again Seth Rollins is standing there. Seth jumps Chris and beats him up around the parking lot. Rollins picks up a steel barricade and throws it at Jericho but he jumps. Rollins then slams Jericho into several cars. He goes to pedigree him on the concrete but Jericho reverses. Rollins keeps holding onto Jericho and drags him into the roof of a car where he pedigrees him. I think my prediction for the main event goes out the window.

Sasha out for her title match next. Charlotte, the champ, accompanied by Dana tonight comes out second. This should probably have been the main event, assuming they don't have something cool there. This match is extremely over. Sasha working heel in front of Charlotte's hometown crowd. They brawl for a bit and it spills over to ringside. It spills from there into the crowd a little bit. While they're in the crowd the ref counts to ten and the match goes to a double countout, Charlotte retaining. Mick comes out and overturns the finish and restarts the match as a falls count anywhere for later in the night. Maybe it will be the main event!

Lana out next. She tells the crowd to welcome the only True American Hero, Rusev. He's gonna be wrestling Enzo. Enzo promos his way down the ramp. He says that last week was the luckiest day of Rusev's life because Rusev beat Enzo but also the luckiest day of Lana's life because she say Enzo's dick. He and Cass talk about Thanksgiving and then says that Lana wants Enzo to have sex with her. They finally get to the ring and the match starts. Rusev just hauls off and full force kicks Enzo in the dick for the DQ.

"Mark Henry is a MOVIE STAR!" Says the woman. She's standing backstage with Mark Henry. He's in the new Blumhouse/WWE Films movie. A skinny white guy beats him up. Aaron Eckhart I guess was the skinny white guy. Titus runs in on the interview and says that the role Mark got was supposed to be his. "It was supposed to be my..." He pauses for effect and stares into the distance. "..Space Jam." Mark then throws him backwards, end of segment.

Rich Swann out next. The Brian Kendrick is on commentary for Rich's match against Noam Dar. The Brian Kendrick just yells at Byron so much Byron stops talking. Rich wins. He then cuts a promo on Kendrick saying he's going to take Kendrick's belt.

There's a vignette of Cesaro and Sheamus at a bar. A guy comes up to Sheamus to pick a fight with him. Cesaro and Sheamus then beat up an entire bar set of guys while a camera shakeycams around them. Cesaro throws a guy through a wall and the camera spends the rest of the time avoiding showing the hole. This is so bad. Wow.

Owens vs Reigns is the ten o'clock segment. Owens jumps Reigns at the bell and they brawl around. Reigns pins Owens after a completely rote match to get his shot at the Universal belt.

That lady tries to interview Owens but he says bad things happen to people she interviews so he's not gonna let her interview him. He calls her a heartless robot for not caring that Kevin lost his best friend and that he got shipped to the hospital care of Rollins. Owens starts dry heaving.

Heyman enters Brock in the Royal Rumble in a pretape.

IT'S A NEW DAY! The New Day come over and attack the commentary and Cole is really mad. New Day are out to gloat about becoming the longest reigning tag team champs in company history in like 15 days. The Club come down and they wrestle. The New Day retain by cheating again with a pull of the tights. The babyfaces on commentary are starting to turn on the New Day.

Backstage, Sasha and Bayley are hanging out. Sasha dedicates her match to Ric Flair.

Main event time, falls count anywhere! This match is awesome. Don't have a great write up but this is two weeks of great main events in a row. Charlotte taps to the Banks Statement applied using a bleacher railing as leverage. Sasha Banks is your new Raw Women's champion! Ric Flair comes down and raises Sasha's hand!

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