From the Fleet Center in beautiful Boston, Massachusetts, we're live for the 2003 Royal Rumble. For our first brand split Rumble, we have King and JR for Raw and Cole and Tazz for Smackdown.
First up is a battle to see who gets to be in the Rumble at all, in a Smackdown match. Brock Lesnar vs the Big Show. Brock belly-to-bellys Show twice. There's a big german. Heyman cheats, surprise! A chokeslam is reversed into a belly-to-belly. Brock tries to F5 Heyman, but gets chokeslammed. He kicks out at two and F5s the Big Show
Terri is with Jericho. Jericho got to pick any number he wanted in the rumble and he picked number two, because Shawn Michaels was already number one.
Champions Lance Storm and William Regal square off against challengers the Dudley Boys, in a Raw match. "Oy ya bloody wanker," says Bubba Ray. Shawn Morley runs down, 3 D on Regal off the distraction, brass knucks on Lance Storm for three, new champs.
Dawn Marie-Wilson vs Torrie Wilson is the next match in the worst angle in the history of professional wrestling, a Smackdown match. There are very few moves in this match and Torrie wins off a swinging neckbreaker.
Backstage, Stephanie it talking to Eric Bischoff. She says Bischoff's job is on the line. So is hers, he retorts. She says that she's related to the man in charge and "Blood runs thicker than urine."
Triple H is accompanied by Ric Flair to his bout against Big Poppa Pump, Freakzilla, Scott Steiner, in a Raw match for the World Heavyweight Championship. There is a never ending chop spot by Steiner, who is working Hunter's midsection for the Steiner Recliner. Steiner largely no-sells Hunter's offense until getting taken off his feet by a big boot. Flair cheats for Hunter, obviously. HHH hits a diamond cutter. Tons of suplexes by Steiner. Flair and Triple H try to escape from the match but the ref makes everyone come back to the ring. Hunter tries to nail Steiner with the belt, Steiner reverses, and busts HHH open. Steiner does pushups in the ring as Triple H tries to recover. Flair asks the ref to stop the match due to blood. The ref refuses. Triple H then shoves the ref. The ref still refuses to end this match in a disqualification. Triple H lowblows Steiner for two. The Game then goes and gets a sledgehammer and is finally disqualified. Steiner gets a hold of the hammer and lays out everyone. Hunter retains his belt. Steiner locks on the recliner, forcing Bischoff to run in and break the hold.
Next match is for the WWE Championship between Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. This is a good match, surprise! Team Angle is barred from ringside. The two men trade suplexes after suplexes. Benoit hits an ankle lock where is reversed into an ankle lock which is reversed into the crossface which is reversed into the Angle slam and it is an absolute work of art. Angle's straps come down. Benoit suplexes Angle clean on his face, knocking him out. To be the emphasis on it, Benoit does his top rope headbutt from three-quarters of the way across the ring. Its only a two count though! Angle hits the Angle slam again, picking up two. Angle rolls through a crossface into an ankle Lock. He won't get go or let up. He grapevines the leg and Benoit is forced to tap out.
Backstage Kane and RVD, tag team partners, reiterate that the Rumble is every man for himself.
Fink runs down the rules for the Royal Rumble match. Number one is the Heart Break Kid Shawn Michaels. Number two is Chris Jericho. Christian distracts HBK so Jericho can low blow him. He hits HBK with a chair and busts him open. Number three is Chris Nowinski, who doesnt enter the ring. Jericho eliminates HBK. Number four is Rey Mysterio. Nowinski still hasn't got in the ring. Mysterio finally drags him in. Number five is Edge, number six is Christian. Edge spears Christian. Nowinski thinks he eliminated Rey and Edge, but they double dropkick him. Number seven is Chavo Guerrero. Mysterio eliminates Nowinski, Jericho eliminates Mysterio Number eight is Taijri, number nine is Bill DeMott, Number ten is Tommy Dreamer with some weapons. Edge and Dreamer eliminate DeMott, Jericho eliminates Dreamer. Jericho eliminates Taijiri. Number eleven is Bull Buchanan. Chavo gets speared out, Jericho skins the cat and eliminates both Edge and Christian. Buchanan got eliminated around here somewhere. Number twelve is RVD, jericho gets busted open. Number thirteen is Matt Hardy V.1 with Shannon Moore. Number sevent is Eddie Guerrero. Matt sets Guerrero up for the frog splash on frog splash pretender RVD. Number fifteen is Jeff Hardy who brawls with Matt. Shannon Moore covers Matt as Jeff Swanton Bombs the two of them. Number sixteen is Rosey. Number seventeen is Test, with Stacy, number eighteen is some geek who raps to the ring, John Cena. Number nineteen is Charlie Haas as RVD eliminates Jeff. Number 20 is Rikishi, twenty one is Jamal, Rikishi stinkfaces him. Twenty two is Kane. He eliminates Rosey. Number twenty three is Shelton Benjiman. Number twenty four is Booker T who does a spinarooni and eliminates Eddie. Number twenty five is A-Train. HBK runs in and allows Test to eliminate Jericho. Number sixteen is Maven, twenty seven is Goldust, eliminated by Team Angle. Booker T is also eliminated by Team Angle. Number twenty eight is Batista who eliminates Test and Rikishi. Number twenty nine is Lesnar, who eliminates Team Angle and Matt Hart. Number thirty is the Undertaker who eliminates Cena, Jamal, and MAven. Kane and RVD eliminate A-Train, Kane eliminated RVD. Taker, Kane, Lesnar, and Batista are the only men remaining. Taker tombstones Lesnar, and eliminates Kane and Batistia. Lesnar eliminates Taker off Batista's distraction. Taker asks for a title shot should Lesnar win at Wrestlemania.
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