Live from the USF Sun Dome in beautiful Tampa, Florida, its the Royal Rumble: 1995 Edition. We hear some beach boys knockoff music as the wrestlers line up outside a dressing room. Pamela Anderson's dressing room! Tonight we have a Spanish announce table for the first time in Rumble history. This is also the first Royal Rumble to be broadcast live in in the UK on SkySports. Vince McMahon and Jerry "The King" Lawler manning commentary tonight. On the line are the Intercontinental strap with Champion Razor Ramon versus Jeff Jarrett, the World title with Bret Hart versus Champion Diesel, as well as the one, the only, the Royal Rumble!
King is pretty great. The Bad Guy has a good amount of pyro and Jeff Jarrett's ring gear is ridiculous. Commentary name drops William Shatner while the crowd adores Razor. There's an immediate fallaway slam and a chokeslam from Razor Ramon. Jarrett hits a snapmare and struts around the ring. Vince won't shut up about how Jarrett wants to be a Nashville star. An exchange of key locks, Jarrett's roadie sure looks a lot like future WWF Superstar the Road Dogg. Jarrett sells like crazy in this match, makes Razor look like Hercules (the myth, not the wrestler.) Razor tussles Jarrett's hair while Vince informs us that NFL great Lawrence Taylor is in the audience tonight. Pam Anderson and Lawrence Taylor. Star studded. Jarrett takes over the match. He misses an enzigiri but converts it into a pin for two. Razor backslides Jarrett for two. The referee, however, counts to three then looks immediately confused. Jarrett tries a pin with his feet on the ropes but the ref catches him. Razor gets two off a diving lariat and gets launched to the outside where he tweaks his knee. The Roadie hits Razor and the bell rings. Jeff Jarrett wins by countout? somehow? Jarrett gets on the mic and asks for the match to be restarted, calling Razor a chicken. Razor limps back to the ring, the ref calls for the bell. Vince keeps freaking out whenever anyone hits a small package. "A SMALL PACKAGE HE GOT EM no." Jeff works over Razor's leg where he tweaked it on the floor. JJ locks in the figure four and Razor can't reverse it. The ref is totally incompetent and will hopefully be fired. Razor fights out of the hold and brings Jarrett up into the Razor's Edge but can't hold it. He collapses and gets rolled up. Your new Intercontinental Champion, Jeff Jarrett.
Commentary throws to Stephanie Lyons backstage who throws to Todd Pettingil. Todd is in Pamela Anderson's dressing room, going through the gifts she got from various wrestlers. A shrunken head from the Headshrinkers, sardines from the Bushwhackers, a Lex Luger tshirt from Lex Luger, and from Shawn Michaels, a picture of himself. She also got a gift from Todd: A single wilted rose. Todd also offers her some candy, Mr. Goodbar and Tootsie Pops, from his pocket.
IRS is accompanied to the ring by Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase for his non-title match against the Undertaker. King keeps asking where the druids are. We don't know who the druids are, dude. Who are the Druids. Where are the druids? Why aren't the druids there? Apparently, the druids are Ted Dibiase's lackeys to torment the Undertaker. The urn is absolutely enormous tonight, probably ten times the size of last year's urn. There's a really long stall before match starts, then IRS pearl harbors Undertaker with a dropkick but he no-sells it, like the Undertaker wont. "Would you stop it with the druids!" Vince demands of King. Taker throws IRS across the ring by the tie. Taker then goes Old School. He grabs the Million Dollar Man, hauling him up on the apron where IRS nearly clocks him, accidentally. Out come the druids. THe Druids try to distract Taker but he still has the run of IRS. The druids shake the rope to make Taker fall off a second Old School. Taker tries to chokeslam the druids but IRS makes the save. Abdominal stretch on Take from IRS. Taker gets out, missed elbow drop, sits up. IRS finally gets taker down but after some offense, the Undertaker just gets up again. Both men sprawl, one of the druids drags IRS over on top of Taker, but IRS only gets a two count. Undertaker goes for the Tombstone but the druids make the distraction. Chokeslam, one, two, three, rest in peace IRS. The druids pearl harbot Taker during his exit. Taker chokeslams both Druids as King Kong Bundy hitrs the ring. IRS steals the urn and Bundy beats down Taker.
Todd is interviewing Diesel earlier in the show. Diesel doesn't say anything. Cut to him interviewing Bret, Bret says he likes Diesel but is going to take the belt back.
Diesel easily over powers Bret "Hit Man" Hart in the next match, a World title match. Bret finally gets his hands on Diesel's leg, neutralizing the match. Bret locks on a Figure four, Diesel gets to the ropes. Bret holds on until four. Back to the figure four, Diesel again gets to the ropes. Diesel is absolutely huge. Tope suicida from bret. Diesel retakes control on the outside. An argentine backbreaker Bret reverses into a sleeper, Diesel powers out. A diving clothesline knocks Diesel back off his feet. Bret counters a press slam into a lateral press. He tapes Diesel to the ring post, but the ref immediately undoes it before Bret can do too much damage. Bret backbreakers Diesel, follows it up with a diving splash. Its hard for a smaller man to work heel but Bret's trying. Diesel jackknifes Bret but Shawn Michaels runs in, attacking Diesel. There's no DQ called, Michaels is thrown out of the ringside area, and the match is restarted! Bret knocks Diesel down with some kicks, ties him back into a figure four, Diesel punches his way oyut. Bret still in control until Diesel's gutwrench suplex for two. Bret nails Diesel with a chair. The crowd boos bret as he locks in the sharpshooter. Owen runs in, rips a turnbuckle cover off, irish whips bret into. No DQ again, the match restarted and OWen thrown out. Diesel makes the cover off the turnbuckle shot but only gets two. Bret rams Diesel into the unprotected turnbuckle but won't go down. Diesel powers back, gets a chair, Bret retreats. Bret lays prone in the middle of the ring, playing possum. Bret rolls Diesel up for two. Ref bump! Bob Backlund and Owen Hart run in and attack Bret. Meanwhile, Michaels, Jeff Jarrett, and the Roadie run in to beat up Diesel. The match is ruled a draw. The crowd boos. All the heels keep beating up on the babyfaces. Diesel clears the ring, saving Bret. He helps Bret to his feet and shakes his hand.
Backstage, Todd is still with Pam as she's getting changed. Todd is very nervous and sweaty. King draws a picture of him kissing Pamela.
Our next match up is Bam Bam Bigelow and Tatanka vs Bob "Spark Plug" Holly and the 1-2-3 Kid. Bam Bam and Tatanka are accompanied by the Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase. There was a tournament for the vacant World Tag Team Championship. 1-2-3 Kid and Holly were a last minute replacement for the Smoking Gunns, who were out due to injury. The Kid and Holly had to beat the Heavenly Bodies and Well Dunn to get to the finals tonight. Holly gets a tiltawhirl headscissors. Bam Bam overpowers both men together. Kid does a popup hurricanrana and drives his own head very hard into the canvas. Bam Bam just throws the Kid around. Tandem caught crossbodies turns into a conking heads miscommunication battering ram spot. Kid accidentally elbow drops Holly but Tatanka accidentally hits Bam Bam so it all evens out. Bam Bam hits a bizarre "foot box both the ears" spot for two and start building the heat on Holly. Hot tag, the Kid runs wild. He hits a corkscrew plancha that Vince calls "a moonsault, ladies and gentlemen." Bam Bam's retaliation is to press slam Kid to the floor, dangerously. After some more miscommunication, Tatanka knocks Bam Bam off the top rope when he tries to do his moonsault. The 1-2-3 Kid picks up the three off of that. Talk about a fluke. Bam Bam wanders around ringside after the match berating fans. He berates Lawrence Taylor and shoves him. The crowd chants "LT."
Todd Pettengill reminds us that Diesel was the most dominant rumbler in the Rumble last year. Shawn Michaels actually eliminated Diesel off camera last year, explaining why he wasn't really covered in last year's recap. Michaels cuts a pre-tape, really telegraphing who's gonna win. They show a brief pre-tape of Luger as well. "1994 is over," he says. The rumble "separates the contenders from the contenders" he says.
Number one out is Shawn Michaels and number two is the British Bulldog, Davey Boy Smith. Michaels does his flippy corner bump. Number thre is Eli Blu and number four is Duke Drose. Number five is Jimmy Del Rey, with Jim Cornette! Number six is a headshrinker, Sione. Jimmy Del Rey is eliminated. Number seven is Tom Pritchard, unfortunately. Also at eight and nine are Doink and Kwang. "Hey its Kwang," Vince says, emotionless. Number ten is the veteran, the Model Rick Martel. Number eleven is Owen Hart. Bret jumps him in the entrance way before he can make it to the ring. He crawls down after the officials separate the brothers. Number twelve is Timothy Well! Of Well Dunn! Owen and Well are eliminated by the Bulldog. Sione eliminates the Model and Pritchard and Owen are eliminated by Shawn Michaels. Kwang eliminates Doink and Eli Blu, Kwang, and Sione eliminate eachother/themselves. Number thirteen is Bushwhacker Luke, who is immediately eliminated by Michaels. Jacob Blue is next and is eliminated by Michaels via low bridge. Number fifteen is King Kong Bundy who gets booed heavily due to his shenanigans with the Undertaker earlier. Number sixteen is Mo who gets eliminated in like two seconds. Number seventeen is the enormous Mabel. Number eighteen is Bushwhacker Butch. Mabel eliminates Bundy, Michaels eliminates Butch. Michaels is basically constantly in a state of elimination, but never hits the ground. The commentators emphasize that both feet must touch the floor in order to be eliminated. Number nineteen is Lex Luger who eliminates Mabel. Number twenty is Mantaur, Number twenty one is Aldo Montoya, number twenty two is Henry O. Godwinn, number twenty three is Billy Gunn, number twenty four is Bart Gunn, number twenty five is Mr. Bob Backlund! Backlund, much like Owen, gets jumped in the aisle by Bret. Number twenty six is Steven Dunn! Lex eliminates Backlund and Bret keeps beating on him. Twenty seven is Dick Murdoch, the legend himself. Number twenty eight is Adam Bomb, a favorite to win the whole thing, and twenty nine is Headshrinker Fatu. Luger eliminates Mantaur. Commentary emphasizes again, both feet must touch the floor. Number thirty is Crush who eliminates the Smoking Gunns single-handedly. Dunn gets eliminated off camera, while we look at Pam Anderson's face/chest. Crush eliminates Adam Bomb. Shawn eliminates Aldo. Luger saves Michaels from elimination like twice. Fatu is eliminated, HOG eliminates Murdoch. The Final Four are Michaels, Crush, Luger, and Smith. Crush eliminates Luger. Chrish and Michaels gang up on Davey Boy. Crush backstabs Michaels but gets eliminated by Bulldog anyway. Just numbers one and two left. Michaels goes over the top and Bulldog's music plays. No, wait, Michaels eliminates Bulldog! Only one of Michael's feet touched the floor?!?!?!!! Pamela Anderson is now to escort the winner, Shawn Michaels, to Wrestlemania!
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